He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize