i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
