Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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