I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
