if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
