The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
