is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
