I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.