even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize