at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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