YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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