I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
