I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
