Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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