he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
