I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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