Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
