Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
please don't ironically join a cult
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