Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize