I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
