Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
