I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
