I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
