Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
