you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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