Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
