You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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