gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
