you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize