I will die if light touches me.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
