we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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