Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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