found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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