We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
