you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
