I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
