And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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