it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
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he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
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Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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