You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
and you fell through a lawn chair
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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