Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
