I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.