that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize