How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
