If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".