Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
two words...techno handjob
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.