i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
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so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
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Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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