I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
