I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
