there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize