Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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