look no pants
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
