Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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