i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
