A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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