I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i will never coherently bang her
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
