youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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