I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I had to cum in my sink.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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