and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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