Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
