You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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