He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
